Divorce Lowers Risk of Suicide for Women in India and China

I found this article interesting and thought I would share.

Suicide rates in India are lower among divorced and widowed women and higher among those with more education, according to a new study that has found parallels to trends in China.

Suicide takes nearly as many young women’s lives in India as complications from pregnancy and childbirth, according to a study led by Vikram Patel at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine and published today in the Lancet journal. The study used data collected by the Registrar General of India for deaths between 2001 and 2003 and extrapolated those findings to estimate suicide figures for 2010.

The World Health Organization estimates there are almost 900,000 suicides worldwide every year, with India and China accounting for 49 percent in 2004, the latest available figure. Lower risk for divorced women has also been reported in China and may reflect changing perceptions of what is “an acceptable way of life” as women become more educated, Patel said.

As in China, suicide is more prevalent among young women than young men, a trend that is reversed in developed countries.

“What’s interesting is how similar these findings are between China and India and how different these two Asian countries are from the developed world,” Patel said in an interview. In India, suicide trends may reflect “the clash between education and the traditional value system.”

India Data

Past studies have pointed to social difficulties, marital conflict, domestic violence and depression as the leading causes of suicide among women in India, Patel said.

For the overall population, the Registrar General found that about 3 percent of surveyed deaths in people ages 15 and older were attributed to suicide. That translates to about 187,000 suicide deaths in India in 2010. Suicide is the second- leading cause of death of young people in India, the authors said in the paper.

The Registrar’s survey is the first to systematically obtain information on the causes of deaths in India, Patel said. As suicide is a crime in India, the only other available data from the National Crime Records Bureau probably reflects underreporting.

In China, studies showed that mental illness didn’t afflict about a third of people who committed suicide and two-thirds of people who attempted suicide, which contrasts with findings in high-income countries where suicidal behavior is almost always associated with mental illness, Michael Phillips of Emory University and Hui Cheng of Shanghai Mental Health Centre wrote in a commentary accompanying the Lancet publication. Low socioeconomic status and divorce are also risk factors for suicide in developed countries, they said.

National Differences

“These cross-national and cross-regional differences have major implications for prevention,” Phillips and Cheng said.

In India, poisoning, mostly from pesticides used in agriculture, was the leading method of suicide in both men and women, Patel said. Restricting access to these pesticides and improving the availability of mental health services are possible approaches for prevention, he said.

The study was funded by the U.S. National Institutes of Health, the University of Toronto and the Wellcome Trust.

Suicide rates for young men between aged 19 to 30 are falling in England, Australia, China and the U.S., according to a review of past studies led by Alexandra Pitman at University College London, also published in the Lancet today. These national trends mask shifting suicide rates by geographic region, socio-economic status and ethnic origin, they said.

Rural Deaths

In England and Australia, suicide rates are rising among young men in rural areas and falling in urban areas. Among ethnic groups, those with the highest suicide rates are white men in South Africa, first-generation Eastern European and Caribbean immigrants to England and Wales, and indigenous populations of Norway, Australia, New Zealand, Canada and the U.S.

Factors that may affect rates of suicide in young men include unemployment, social deprivation, and media reports of suicide, Pitman said in the paper.

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Article source: www.bloomberg.com

Hiring a Divorce Attorney

Whether you are just starting the divorce process or want to modify your final judgment, hiring a divorce lawyer is not something most people have experience with. Here are 10 tips for hiring and working with a divorce lawyer:

1. Ask for recommendations from your friends. this is the best place to begin.
2. Make an appointment for an initial consultation. Do not be surprised if the divorce lawyer charges for the initial consult, but do expect to walk away with some information about how your case will shake out.
3. Compile a list of questions to take with you. Ask questions. Be prepared.
4. Listen to your intuition when hiring a divorce or modification lawyer.
5. Learn how the basic divorce law works.
6. Get organized. This can save you time, stress and attorney fees.
7. Get clear on your goals and do not make your divorce lawyer guess about what she “thinks” you want.
8. Make sure the lawyer understands your goals.
9. Pick your battles. You do not always have to put up a fight. Sustained conflict with your ex is the worst thing you can do for your children.
10. Only use your lawyer’s time when you need to. Get a divorce coach or therapist to talk to about the non-legal parts of your divorce.

And here is a bonus tip: Read the retainer contract carefully. Understand how the lawyer will be charging you. This can be a contentious area between clients and their divorce lawyer so be sure you understand what you will be charged for when your divorce lawyer works on your case.

Having a good “fit” between the lawyer and client is important. I’m not talking about having the divorce lawyer as your BFF. As the client it is your responsibility to get clear on your goals and do not choose a divorce lawyer who does not fit with your goals .

If maintaining good relations with your ex is important because you will be co-parenting together, hiring an attorney who enjoys conflict is not likely to be a good fit. Remember that you will be working over time with the divorce lawyer so choose wisely.

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Article Source: .pamelawynn.com

Steps for a Happy Marriage, Money-Wise

Newlyweds and couples moving toward marriage, take note: Love, as it turns out, is not all you need. Failing to do so can lead to serious trouble.

"Mature, responsible conversations about money are a sign of a marriage that's going to be healthy and wonderful and enduring," says Brooke Salvini, a certified financial planner based in San Louis Obispo, Calif. "If you can't talk about money when you are dating, that is a red flag right there."

To get the conversation rolling, here are seven steps experts recommend to steer clear of potential marital money troubles:

1. DISCLOSE FINANCIAL RECORDS

Before corporations merge, both sides get a close look at each others financial records. Take the same approach before you get hitched.  Swap statements for your bank accounts, credit cards, student loans, retirement accounts and so on. Also share credit reports and FICO scores.

"Not only can you start to put together a balance sheet of what the two of you own and what your debts are, you can start to discuss 'do we want to combine our checking account?'" says Salvini.

2. DISCUSS FINANCIAL GOALS

A huge part of getting in sync with your spouse begins with discussing major life goals and the necessary financial commitments.  Discuss short-term goals, such as paying off credit card debt or buying a car, and longer-term goals such as buying a house, then craft a budget that sets you clearly on a path toward your goals.

3. BUDGET YOUR SPENDING

Failing to create and stick to a mutually agreed budget can lead to marital strife.  It doesn't have to be complicated. Start by listing monthly income. Be sure to add in interest earned on money-market accounts and dividends from any investments. Then add up expenses, from car payments and rent to groceries, gym membership and utilities.  If you're making more than you spend each month, you can begin planning how to set aside money for an emergency fund, and for long-term financial goals.

If you are spending more than you earn, it's time to consider ways to cut spending.

4. TREAT YOUR MONEY AS OUR MONEY

Many newlyweds see the money they earn individually as their own, much as if they might merely be roommates. They keep separate bank accounts and pitch in, perhaps equally, or not, to pay bills.

But that can lead to problems, especially if one spouse earns a lot more than the other, says Anthony Chambers, a clinical psychologist at the Family Institute at Northwestern University.  If both spouses work, he suggests they arrange for their paychecks to be deposited directly into a joint account used to pay all shared expenses. If they feel they need to have some of their own money in a separate account, that's fine. But Chambers says that money should come from the joint account, so both spouses know where the household's money is going.

5. KEEP CREDIT CARDS SEPARATE

It's not necessary to make your spouse a joint account holder on your credit cards, especially if he or she has a poor credit history, which can drag down your own credit rating. Instead, make your spouse an authorized user of your credit cards. This will avoid any potential impact to your credit rating. Authorized users are also able to check account balances and track spending on the card.

6. DON'T SPLIT COSTS 50-50

In marriage as in most other scenarios, money is power. Although splitting household costs down the middle may work early in a relationship, it can breed resentment in a marriage when one spouse makes a lot more money than the other. It also can foster a sense that the person who pays more should have more say in financial matters.

"Very few things in marriage are exactly 50-50," says Chambers. "And that can really start to bring up all of these other issues of fairness."  Even if costs aren't split down the middle, it's important that each spouse have equal say in money decisions.

7. TALK ABOUT SPENDING

Even after you've reviewed all the financial paperwork, it's even more important to find out how your spending habits match up.  Often those habits are developed early and are entrenched. One person might have grown up in a family that counted every penny. Another might part far more easily with money because shopping became a hobby.  Beyond how much someone likes to spend, there are potential conflicts over what we see as a must-have.  Even small differences can become wedge issues.

"The central task of marriage is the management of differences," says Chambers. "So you want to be able to know early on what those differences are."

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*Article source: USA Today

3 Top Tips To Get Your Marriage Back On Track

An interesting article with 3 tips for how to get your marriage back on track.







All marriages go through their ups and downs. Unfortunately, when the rough periods outweigh the happy times the marriage can quickly become unbearable.  As a result you might end up feeling stuck in your marriage but are paralyzed by fear and anxiety over what to do.  But doing nothing is the worst thing you can do.  You need to take positive action to remedy the problems and get your marriage back on track

In this article I will be discussing 3 key elements which will help you to get your marriage back on the straight and narrow.

1. Improve communication in your marriage.

You need to identify your marriage issues and pinpoint the areas of conflicts.   If it helps, write them all down on a piece of paper first and then go through them with your spouse.  You both need to have a frank and honest discussion about what upsets you in the marriage.

This should be a positive discussion, so don’t start throwing accusations at each other.  Talking with anger and resentment will sabotage your efforts and stifle your progress.  Start splitting the issues into small pieces and tackle them one at a time. No subject should be out of bounds: sensitive topics like money, sex, housework, or disciplining the kids are often at the forefront of many couple’s marital problems.

Once you have pinpointed the problems, you need to set the ground rules and create an active plan of action on how you are going to reduce the conflict in your marriage, manage your problems and set the tone for a much more peaceful life together.

2) Kill the tension

Stop holding grudges.  Once you’ve tackled the problem areas and decided on a plan of action you need to take the gloves off and start working on making the marriage better.   This often means letting go of your negative feelings and learning how to be more positive towards your partner.

Constant tension in a marriage creates an unhealthy atmosphere full of hostility, resentment and bitterness which tears a couple apart.  It might mean that you both need to forgive each other for things done in the past, but removing the tension will dramatically improve your marriage and will give you a much better chance to be happy again.

3) Make time for your couple
Sometimes, with a hectic schedule of work and childcare, the couple’s basic needs can become too easily forgotten.  If you are both busy with your careers during the week and then try to cram everything else at week-ends, it leaves you no time to nurture your relationship with your spouse.
In a healthy relationship, couples take time to show affection to each other and express their love for one another.

To help you grow together as a couple, you should try and make a date night at least once a week.   This is a time to enjoy each other’s company, reconnect with your partner and satisfy your needs for sexual intimacy.

Conclusion: Marriage is about giving and taking.  To get your marriage back on track requires efforts and commitments from both spouses.  You need to take care of your couple and make time to nurture your relationship with your spouse.

Ultimately to move into a new happier future together you need to make your marriage your top priority.

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Source: howtosavemarriagenow.com

We need your help!

Irion Books needs you!  We are looking for individuals that want to help contribute to the update we will be doing to the book Divorce Hell.  The book Divorce Hell is Charles Irion’s cautionary tale about the wild ride of divorce, together with his advice on how to get off the marriage-divorce-marriage merry-go-round. The book contains a history of odd divorce rituals, Irion’s descriptions of his own divorces, other people’s horror stories, lurid celebrity break-ups, offbeat prenuptial agreements, all topped off by Irion’s Salvation Guide to jump start your efforts to avoid divorce and achieve a strong marriage.

How can you help?  We are looking for anyone that can share their own horror stories, or marriage and/or divorce advice they would give someone going through the same situation they themselves experienced.  If we print your story, you can choose to either remain anonymous in the book, or we would love to print your name as contributor.

If you think you have the story or advice we're looking for, please email Jennifer at Jennifer@IrionBooks.com

Book Giveaway

You could win a copy of Divorce Hell!  Divorce Hell is my cautionary tale about the wild ride of divorce, together with my advice on how to get off the marriage-divorce-marriage merry-go-round. It’s all here: a history of odd divorce rituals, descriptions of my own divorces, other people’s horror stories, lurid celebrity break-ups, offbeat prenuptial agreements, all topped off by my Salvation Guide to jump start your efforts to avoid divorce and achieve a strong marriage.

Fill out the form below to enter!  Contest will run until the end of the month.  Use your 'tab' key to fill out the form.

Wealthy Couples Drawn to New Divorce Arbitration

An increasing number of wealthy couples are turning to new arbitration schemes to settle divorces rather than squabbling in public through the courts.

It is claimed that arbitration – frequently used in commercial and civil disputes – is being increasingly used to handle financial disputes arising from divorce.

Lawyers say the scheme is likely to attract “super-rich” couples bickering over “big money” divorce settlements who want negotiations carried out discreetly.

It is also understood the be a popular avenue in disputes about ownership of property between cohabiting couples and civil partners and so-called “schedule one claims” – maintenance orders relating to a child born to parents who have never married.

Some 40 lawyers have already trained to be arbitrators for the service launched by the Institute of Family Law Arbitrators, and there is a waiting list of lawyers wanting the training.

Marilyn Stowe, senior partner at Stowe Family Law, told the Financial Times that she thought the scheme would be attractive to two groups of people.

“Those who are in big money cases who can circumvent the waiting period in the courts and also are prepared to pay the fees of the arbitrator to have the benefit of privacy.”
She added the second group could include litigants who might want an arbitrator to decide the case or a specific point.

“Arbitration is tailored to the couple and we do not have to go through the entire process which we do in court. If you do not need a hearing, the arbitrator can decide something on paper. It’s more informal and quicker,“ she said.

James Pirrie of Family Law in Partnership, a team of specialist family lawyers, said he envisaged a big take-up for arbitration cases.

He said: “Court queues are growing – meaning longer delays and more costs for those going to court. That increases the pressures on judges, who have bigger caseloads to manage and less time for each case and there are inevitable stories of bad outcomes.”

“That means that appeals are likely, leading to an even longer process and a greater likelihood of loss of privacy as the media become involved.”

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*article from The Telegraph