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It's
difficult to know where to turn when you're faced with divorce. Few of
us have any prior experience with the legal ins and outs associated with
this difficult process. In my divorce coach practice, I've heard too
many stories of time and money wasted as clients go through lawyer after
lawyer trying to find the right one. And yet, finding the right divorce
lawyer is key to what could be a faster, less-expensive divorce,
compared to a long, drawn-out emotional and financial nightmare. But if
you don't know what to look for in a divorce lawyer, how do you know
you're investing all of your money, hopes and dreams in the right one?
Follow these seven steps to find the divorce attorney that's the right fit for you:
1. Be realistic.
First,
you need to realize that divorce is a legal process with the sole
purpose of dissolving your assets and resolving custody issues. Your
divorce attorney's job is to represent you to the best of his or her
ability in this process. While you might want them to listen to your
anger, frustration, pain and sadness, that is not their job. They are
not trained to be your therapist or coach, and they don't want to be.
Since your attorney has higher rates and the clock is always running,
it's a gross misuse of your money if this is how you're using them. And
divorce attorneys have seen it all. What seems immensely important to
you might barely register for them within the scope of the legal
process. So be realistic about the role of your divorce attorney, and
what you can expect from them.
2. Stay focused on the goal.
Your
ultimate goal in this process is to get divorced, and hopefully you can
do so without any major depreciation of your lifestyle. Don't let your
emotions jump in and run rampant when it comes to negotiating over
material things that don't mean much to you in the big picture. If you
do, your divorce will be longer, more litigious, and definitely more
expensive than otherwise. Is it worth it? No. So keep your focus on
getting divorced as quickly, and with as little financial damage, as
possible. Ask yourself, what kind of divorce will do that for me?
3. Know what you want.
Before
you rush out to hire a divorce attorney, consider other alternatives to
traditional litigation. If you aren't completely entangled with
children and finances, you could hire a mediator to help you negotiate
the terms of your divorce. Mediation is the fastest, cheapest way to get
divorced, and you might not need to hire an attorney at all! If your
negotiation is more complicated, you'll have to hire a divorce lawyer to
negotiate a settlement with your spouse's attorney. Or you could
consider a collaborative divorce. A collaborative divorce is focused on
negotiation with the goal of preserving a co-parenting relationship.
Your last resort is a litigated trial. Typically, these are the cases
when neither side will compromise. So you need to determine what type of
divorce attorney you need based on your unique circumstances. Realize
that any divorce attorney you talk to will try to steer you in the
direction of their own specific expertise. It's up to you to know what
you want first, so you can make the right choice.
4. Identify at least three potential attorneys.
Don't
jump to hire the first lawyer you meet. They are not all the same. Find
at least three divorce attorneys that you can interview before making
your decision. Clearly, you need to hire a lawyer that specializes in
family law and one that's experienced in the specific type of divorce
you think is best for you. The ideal attorney has the legal knowledge
and experience you need, helps you understand the process, communicates
and negotiates well, solves problems creatively and is experienced in
your specific court system. So you need one that's local to you.
Regardless of whether or not your divorce is headed to trial, your
attorney needs to be experienced with the family law judges in your
jurisdiction so that he or she can advise you appropriately on legal
strategy. How do you find potential attorneys? Ask you friends for
personal recommendations. Ask your trust or estate lawyer for divorce
attorney recommendations. Go online to the numerous websites that
provide client reviews of attorneys local to you.
5. Interview and research potential attorneys.
Start
with an initial phone call. Ask them about their experience and
specialization within family law. Ask them about what type of client
they typically represent. Ask them about their rates. Most divorce
lawyers charge an hourly fee and require a retainer -- a fee charged in
advance. Some lawyers will also negotiate fees based on anticipated
settlements. Don't waste your time (or theirs) on a meeting if they're
out of your cost range. Most divorce attorneys provide a free consult to
discuss your specific situation and what their legal approach would be.
So take advantage of it to gather as much legal advice as possible!
Typically, the attorney you meet with will not be handling the
day-to-day issues related to your case, so ask to meet the colleague or
associate that would. The divorce process can also include financial
experts, parenting coordinators, coach facilitators, and forensic
appraisers. Find out your attorney's access to these resources and if
any would be relevant to your case, as it will affect overall cost. And
even if you have no intention of heading to trial, look at the
attorney's trial record and history of success in court. This track
record is an indicator of your attorney's success in negotiation.
6. Look for red flags.
Unfortunately,
many attorneys will tell you what you want to hear just to close the
deal. While this is your life, it's a business for them. There are no
guarantees in this process, so if an attorney is making promises, don't
believe it. If an attorney talks about high-profile clients or divulges
confidential information based on other cases, it's highly likely
they'll do the same to you. If they aren't respectful of other divorce
attorneys you're interviewing, it's a sign that they won't be to you
either. And if during your consult, they're constantly distracted by
phone calls and emails and can't focus their sole attention on you, they
likely won't during your divorce case. Make sure the lawyer you choose
acts according to the professional ethics of the industry and treats you
with the respect and attention you deserve. This might be their
business, but it's your life.
7. Make your choice.
The
divorce attorney you choose to represent you is local, professional,
knowledgeable, responsive and communicates well. This attorney is
someone you trust and feel comfortable with. This attorney supports your
basic philosophy toward divorce and has a style that works for you.
This attorney recognizes the importance of your children and puts them
first in the legal process by not making unreasonable child support
demands or custody arrangements. This attorney is affordable. Divorce is
a highly personal and emotional process, the outcome of which can have a
significant impact on your life. This is an important decision, and
there are no guarantees in this process. However, if you follow these
steps, you'll find the right one -- the one who listens to what you
want, advises you well and has your best interest at heart.
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Article source: huffingtonpost.com
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