3 Top Tips To Get Your Marriage Back On Track

An interesting article with 3 tips for how to get your marriage back on track.







All marriages go through their ups and downs. Unfortunately, when the rough periods outweigh the happy times the marriage can quickly become unbearable.  As a result you might end up feeling stuck in your marriage but are paralyzed by fear and anxiety over what to do.  But doing nothing is the worst thing you can do.  You need to take positive action to remedy the problems and get your marriage back on track

In this article I will be discussing 3 key elements which will help you to get your marriage back on the straight and narrow.

1. Improve communication in your marriage.

You need to identify your marriage issues and pinpoint the areas of conflicts.   If it helps, write them all down on a piece of paper first and then go through them with your spouse.  You both need to have a frank and honest discussion about what upsets you in the marriage.

This should be a positive discussion, so don’t start throwing accusations at each other.  Talking with anger and resentment will sabotage your efforts and stifle your progress.  Start splitting the issues into small pieces and tackle them one at a time. No subject should be out of bounds: sensitive topics like money, sex, housework, or disciplining the kids are often at the forefront of many couple’s marital problems.

Once you have pinpointed the problems, you need to set the ground rules and create an active plan of action on how you are going to reduce the conflict in your marriage, manage your problems and set the tone for a much more peaceful life together.

2) Kill the tension

Stop holding grudges.  Once you’ve tackled the problem areas and decided on a plan of action you need to take the gloves off and start working on making the marriage better.   This often means letting go of your negative feelings and learning how to be more positive towards your partner.

Constant tension in a marriage creates an unhealthy atmosphere full of hostility, resentment and bitterness which tears a couple apart.  It might mean that you both need to forgive each other for things done in the past, but removing the tension will dramatically improve your marriage and will give you a much better chance to be happy again.

3) Make time for your couple
Sometimes, with a hectic schedule of work and childcare, the couple’s basic needs can become too easily forgotten.  If you are both busy with your careers during the week and then try to cram everything else at week-ends, it leaves you no time to nurture your relationship with your spouse.
In a healthy relationship, couples take time to show affection to each other and express their love for one another.

To help you grow together as a couple, you should try and make a date night at least once a week.   This is a time to enjoy each other’s company, reconnect with your partner and satisfy your needs for sexual intimacy.

Conclusion: Marriage is about giving and taking.  To get your marriage back on track requires efforts and commitments from both spouses.  You need to take care of your couple and make time to nurture your relationship with your spouse.

Ultimately to move into a new happier future together you need to make your marriage your top priority.

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Source: howtosavemarriagenow.com

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Irion Books needs you!  We are looking for individuals that want to help contribute to the update we will be doing to the book Divorce Hell.  The book Divorce Hell is Charles Irion’s cautionary tale about the wild ride of divorce, together with his advice on how to get off the marriage-divorce-marriage merry-go-round. The book contains a history of odd divorce rituals, Irion’s descriptions of his own divorces, other people’s horror stories, lurid celebrity break-ups, offbeat prenuptial agreements, all topped off by Irion’s Salvation Guide to jump start your efforts to avoid divorce and achieve a strong marriage.

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5 Minutes To A Better Marriage

What’s the one thing any couple needs to make their marriage stronger and more romantic? If you’re like most people surveyed recently, you’d say time together—and lots of it.  But that isn't so, in a recent study of couples that had recently turned their marriages around and felt really close now hadn’t made any big changes like devoting entire evenings or weekends to being together. Instead, they’d simply started spending five-minute blocks of time together in rewarding ways. And you can follow their lead to improve your marriage!  Here are some examples:

• Cuddle at the most important time of the day. "Most couples fit their cuddles in at the end of the day", says psychologist Judith Sherven, Ph.D. "but cuddling in the morning is even more rewarding." Why? "The physical contact will keep you feeling close to each other all day," she says. So go ahead and set the alarm five minutes early, then snuggle. "You can talk, but you don’t have to," she says. "The most important part is that you’re holding each other. It’ll help you both start the day feeling loved, and you’ll feel that way all day long."

• Ask each other one simple question before you head out the door. What is it? "Anything special going on today? Gottman discovered that talking about the daily details of our lives is just as important to couples as sharing hopes, dreams and fears with each other. "The nitty-gritty details determine a lot of how we act and feel on any given day, so asking about them is a great way to build understanding and rapport," Gottman explains. Then, when you’re together again at the end of the day, ask how that special something—that meeting, phone call to an important client or lunch with a friend went. The results? You’ll feel connected, Gottman says.

• Share what you like about each other. When a conversation about cars sprang up at a gathering with friends, Mary Gilman gave her husband credit for making their old clunker last with his TLC. "He looked so happy, I realized I should tell him more often how much I appreciate the things he does," says the 32-year-old sales representative from Tustin, California. "I didn’t think I had to tell him. I assumed he knew how much I appreciate him." The moral? If there’s something you appreciate about your spouse, from his/her parenting skills to the way he/she painted the bathroom last month, speak up! This proved so important to the couples Gottman studied that he recommends sprinkling five minutes of praise throughout each other’s day. If you start, he promises, you’ll enjoy the same treatment from your husband/wife. How does praise work? "It reminds people that their spouse loves them," Gottman explains. And knowing they’re loved "makes people more willing to iron out differences".

• Do small kindnesses for each other. The good we do for our partner tends to come back to us, says relationship expert James Sniechowski, Ph.D.  "When you’re thoughtful to someone, they’re inclined to be thoughtful in return," he explains. "And those acts of kindness make for a loving feeling between two people."  So pick up each other’s favorite dessert or clip articles you think your spouse might like. "The amount of love those small kindnesses will bring you is without limit," Sniechowski says.

The more five-minute connections you’re able to make, the better, says Gottman. Why? "Because the more good connections you make, the more money you’ll have in your joint emotional bank account, and the richer your relationship will be." But even just one five-minute connection a day can make for a happier marriage. So go ahead and spend five minutes on building a great marriage.

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